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Re: Experiences of Meeting would be partners

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2018 8:57 am
by arpit
anurag wrote:
Wed Aug 15, 2018 3:09 pm
My experience has been a very memorable one

It was Day of fun and full of embarrassments, but that was my turning point in life. We married on 20th May 1982. Happily married for 35 years
Life moves with all such sweet memories, ಸವಿನೆನಪುಗಳು ಬೇಕು ಸವಿಯಲು ಬದುಕು (Savi nenapugalu beku Saviyalu Baduku) we need sweet memories to cherish the life.

Kannada meanings;

savinenapugalu-sweet memories, beku- requires, saviyalu- to taste or enjoy, baduku- life
Awesome Anurag....this was the most beautiful experience I have heard....that is how marriages should be...where people have fun and not judge others.... :) :) :) :)

Re: Experiences of Meeting would be partners

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2018 9:00 am
by arpit
shobha wrote:
Wed Aug 15, 2018 5:40 pm

So, I decided to call him.He hadn't chosen the meeting place. I had to go back to work since I had to wrap all my work before I went on the long vacation. So, I decided to meet up at a nearby coffee shop.He didn't know the directions. So I sent Google map link to him on WhatsAapp. :x :x

Personally, I would be impressed if I got a Google map link to direct me. This guy didn't understand and then I had to explain him in detail how he was supposed to reach there. He lived 20 minutes away from the coffee shop. :x :x

Finally, we met and went inside the coffee shop.The moment we placed the order, the first question he asks me is "Are you a career-oriented female?" I was completely shocked. :shock: :shock: :shock:
I love the way you described Google Maps thing...It was interesting but a bit sad also to see such people....and then when he asked you if you are career oriented female, it was shocking.... :roll: :roll: :roll:

Re: Experiences of Meeting would be partners

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2018 9:04 am
by arpit
nalin wrote:
Thu Aug 16, 2018 8:35 am
A second one I want to share.

When i asked about the n number of times she confessed that she liked me a lot. She said , yes i did like u at that time, but not now :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: .

I mean WTF such a drastic change in 16 hours , rather in 1.5 hours . :shock: :shock: :shock:

Over 200 profiles parsed , > 25 face to face meetings and still in the process of seeking ! :cry: :cry:

I just want to scream " Where the hell are you ?" :lol: :lol:
I read both of your experiences Nalin....even I learnt the hard way that we should speak only after the girl has finished the point :lol: :lol: :lol:

But I guess such change of hearts from a solid yes to sudden no is natural in this journey. It is a tough decision to make and sometimes people may go very nervous and unable to bear, they may instantly say no. It make sense to stay calm and say that it is fine with them. Though I know it is tough to do so.

Re: Experiences of Meeting would be partners

Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 10:57 am
by shinchan
So this is about a boy I did conversed with for the "arranged marriage".. I was not willing to but some how, for the sake of my parents, I did talk to him, over text initially. So one fine day, we were chatting about the hobbies. The conversation went like

He: So what you do in your leisure? How good are you in arts? You love to cook? Do you love to travel?

Me: What is this going on? Some interview or what?

He: I am just asking

Me: Okay, I read in my leisure and sometimes write too

He: I find nothing much that amuses you

Me: Well, I am like this. What about you? What do you do in your leisure?

He: Skydiving, Scuba diving, Helicopter ride. (Believe me, he said exactly this)

Me: Not in the imaginary world, the real one.

He: This is real for me.

Me: So you do skydive and helicopter rides for your leisure?

He: Not in leisure but on weekends.

Me: Okay

I thought he must be more into these things and didnt bother much. After some days my friends and me went for the skydiving. He (the boy) knew about the plan. I somewhere did mentioned this to him.

He: So done with the skydiving, hmm?

Me: Yes. It was great.

He: I must be so fun

Me: yes. It was

He: I am so jealous of you

Me: Why? You do it on weekends ? You must be so habituated to it.

He: I never said such.

I showed him the screenshot of his words

He: clearly said, not in liesure, on weekends

Me: Thats what I am saying, over weekends. So you must have done it quite a few times till now. Why jealous?

He remained silent.

Me: What is the frequency? May be not every weekend but every other weekend? once in three weeks? or may be once in a month?

He again remained silent

Me: Come on. Tell me.

He: Yearly. Happy?

Me: Oh. How many times till now you have done it then?

He: Zero. Not even a single time.

Me: What? But then why did you mentioned those as your weekend activities? Were you trying to sound cool?

He: If you think doing such makes someone cool, god help you.

Me: But then there has to be some reason why you mentioned those. I wonder what made you say that.

He: Keep wondering. I am not bound to explain you anything.

I sat laughing and wondering what was wrong with him?

Me: Well, You are not even bound to have this conversation.

He: Agree. Good luck for future ahead.Bye.

Me: Bye

Never had a chance to meet him personally. Lol. I thank god for saving me from that wierdo.So this is about a boy I did conversed with for the "arranged marriage".. I was not willing to but some how, for the sake of my parents, I did talk to him, over text initially. So one fine day, we were chatting about the hobbies. The conversation went like

He: So what you do in your leisure? How good are you in arts? You love to cook? Do you love to travel?

Me: What is this going on? Some interview or what?

He: I am just asking

Me: Okay, I read in my leisure and sometimes write too

He: I find nothing much that amuses you

Me: Well, I am like this. What about you? What do you do in your leisure?

He: Skydiving, Scuba diving, Helicopter ride. (Believe me, he said exactly this)

Me: Not in the imaginary world, the real one.

He: This is real for me.

Me: So you do skydive and helicopter rides for your leisure?

He: Not in leisure but on weekends.

Me: Okay

I thought he must be more into these things and didnt bother much. After some days my friends and me went for the skydiving. He (the boy) knew about the plan. I somewhere did mentioned this to him.

He: So done with the skydiving, hmm?

Me: Yes. It was great.

He: I must be so fun

Me: yes. It was

He: I am so jealous of you

Me: Why? You do it on weekends ? You must be so habituated to it.

He: I never said such.

I showed him the screenshot of his words

He: clearly said, not in liesure, on weekends

Me: Thats what I am saying, over weekends. So you must have done it quite a few times till now. Why jealous?

He remained silent.

Me: What is the frequency? May be not every weekend but every other weekend? once in three weeks? or may be once in a month?

He again remained silent

Me: Come on. Tell me.

He: Yearly. Happy?

Me: Oh. How many times till now you have done it then?

He: Zero. Not even a single time.

Me: What? But then why did you mentioned those as your weekend activities? Were you trying to sound cool?

He: If you think doing such makes someone cool, god help you.

Me: But then there has to be some reason why you mentioned those. I wonder what made you say that.

He: Keep wondering. I am not bound to explain you anything.

I sat laughing and wondering what was wrong with him?

Me: Well, You are not even bound to have this conversation.

He: Agree. Good luck for future ahead.Bye.

Me: Bye

Never had a chance to meet him personally. Lol. I thank god for saving me from that wierdo.So this is about a boy I did conversed with for the "arranged marriage".. I was not willing to but some how, for the sake of my parents, I did talk to him, over text initially. So one fine day, we were chatting about the hobbies. The conversation went like

He: So what you do in your leisure? How good are you in arts? You love to cook? Do you love to travel?

Me: What is this going on? Some interview or what?

He: I am just asking

Me: Okay, I read in my leisure and sometimes write too

He: I find nothing much that amuses you

Me: Well, I am like this. What about you? What do you do in your leisure?

He: Skydiving, Scuba diving, Helicopter ride. (Believe me, he said exactly this)

Me: Not in the imaginary world, the real one.

He: This is real for me.

Me: So you do skydive and helicopter rides for your leisure?

He: Not in leisure but on weekends.

Me: Okay

I thought he must be more into these things and didnt bother much. After some days my friends and me went for the skydiving. He (the boy) knew about the plan. I somewhere did mentioned this to him.

He: So done with the skydiving, hmm?

Me: Yes. It was great.

He: I must be so fun

Me: yes. It was

He: I am so jealous of you

Me: Why? You do it on weekends ? You must be so habituated to it.

He: I never said such.

I showed him the screenshot of his words

He: clearly said, not in liesure, on weekends

Me: Thats what I am saying, over weekends. So you must have done it quite a few times till now. Why jealous?

He remained silent.

Me: What is the frequency? May be not every weekend but every other weekend? once in three weeks? or may be once in a month?

He again remained silent

Me: Come on. Tell me.

He: Yearly. Happy?

Me: Oh. How many times till now you have done it then?

He: Zero. Not even a single time.

Me: What? But then why did you mentioned those as your weekend activities? Were you trying to sound cool?

He: If you think doing such makes someone cool, god help you.

Me: But then there has to be some reason why you mentioned those. I wonder what made you say that.

He: Keep wondering. I am not bound to explain you anything.

I sat laughing and wondering what was wrong with him?

Me: Well, You are not even bound to have this conversation.

He: Agree. Good luck for future ahead.Bye.

Me: Bye

Never had a chance to meet him personally. Lol. I thank god for saving me from that wierdo.So this is about a boy I did conversed with for the "arranged marriage".. I was not willing to but some how, for the sake of my parents, I did talk to him, over text initially. So one fine day, we were chatting about the hobbies. The conversation went like

He: So what you do in your leisure? How good are you in arts? You love to cook? Do you love to travel?

Me: What is this going on? Some interview or what?

He: I am just asking

Me: Okay, I read in my leisure and sometimes write too

He: I find nothing much that amuses you

Me: Well, I am like this. What about you? What do you do in your leisure?

He: Skydiving, Scuba diving, Helicopter ride. (Believe me, he said exactly this)

Me: Not in the imaginary world, the real one.

He: This is real for me.

Me: So you do skydive and helicopter rides for your leisure?

He: Not in leisure but on weekends.

Me: Okay

I thought he must be more into these things and didnt bother much. After some days my friends and me went for the skydiving. He (the boy) knew about the plan. I somewhere did mentioned this to him.

He: So done with the skydiving, hmm?

Me: Yes. It was great.

He: I must be so fun

Me: yes. It was

He: I am so jealous of you

Me: Why? You do it on weekends ? You must be so habituated to it.

He: I never said such.

I showed him the screenshot of his words

He: clearly said, not in liesure, on weekends

Me: Thats what I am saying, over weekends. So you must have done it quite a few times till now. Why jealous?

He remained silent.

Me: What is the frequency? May be not every weekend but every other weekend? once in three weeks? or may be once in a month?

He again remained silent

Me: Come on. Tell me.

He: Yearly. Happy?

Me: Oh. How many times till now you have done it then?

He: Zero. Not even a single time.

Me: What? But then why did you mentioned those as your weekend activities? Were you trying to sound cool?

He: If you think doing such makes someone cool, god help you.

Me: But then there has to be some reason why you mentioned those. I wonder what made you say that.

He: Keep wondering. I am not bound to explain you anything.

I sat laughing and wondering what was wrong with him?

Me: Well, You are not even bound to have this conversation.

He: Agree. Good luck for future ahead.Bye.

Me: Bye

Never had a chance to meet him personally. Lol. I thank god for saving me from that wierdo.

Re: Experiences of Meeting would be partners

Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:14 am
by mahendra singh
I recently had my first ever meeting with a girl in a arranged marriage meeting.

I was really nervous I did not know what to expect.I am 32/ male a Dentist by profession, reason I waited for so long was i always felt I was not ready for marriage till I achieved certain professional milestone I had set for myself.

Any ways this meeting was arranged by a family friend and my mom dad and myself with my uncle and aunt went to meet girl and her parents.

She was a year elder than me ( did not really matter to me or my parents ) and was an interior designer by profession.

So we started with simple light questions like our schools I asked her about her job she wanted to pursue freelancing in her field which I appreciated because she felt it was best way for her to establish her name in her profession rather than work with someone , something which I very much relate too.

She likes reading I don't and I told her I have only ever read one book Kite Runner by Khaled Husseni. This went on I has hoping she would initiate more serious questions and I would just follow the flow but I finally asked her what was she looking for in her life Partner?

Her answer was pointed measured i.e Stable , Fun to be with and has a good Family !

Now it's my turn she did not ask me but I felt it's implied that since she answered it's my turn.

Any ways I was nervous but I had thought of what I wanted in my life partner I had the answer

So here it goes I told her

“ I have friends who are married for 7–8 years some for 5 some for 2–3 yrs . One thing I have noticed is it's always all sweet and rosy in the beginning but in the longer run all that matters is communication . I am looking for a person I can come home and talk to about my day she tells me about her day I would really value her opinion and I would also appreciate if she stands up to me and tells me bluntly if I am wrong like listen asshole u are wrong better correct yourself or u are in trouble ( can't believe I actually said asshole there but i said it ).

I further went on to say whenever we are passionate about anything there is going to be fights but it's best it's vented out I would encourage my partner to do so rather than keep to herself.

She nodded and listened .She did say that she has friends whose spouses behave as though they are still bachelor's and she did not like it .

This is where I said fortunately I have the liberty choosing my times in my profession and my mother has made it clear that dinner is one meal we would always have as a family together so I understand and value the importance of family time and work life balance.

At this point I also told her I am looking for a life partner who also works and is financially independent and contributor in family .

I reasoned it out saying dental practice has ups and down I told her the clinic does generate six figure revenues but there are slow months particularly during festivals, it does even out in the longer run through and in today's time both partners having positive financial contribution is very important to have a good lifestyle and achieve major life goals.

She nodded did not really respond or say anything.

Now this is when the conversation moved towards parents see she was not really asking only listening nodding or commenting in between.

I brought this up myself.

I told her I am my parents only child just as she is and I expect my partner to understand just as her parents are my responsibility after marriage my parents are equally her responsibility as well.

I further told her we are a close knit family I don't have siblings my family is open and quite liberal in all aspects,we all contribute to house work dishes cleaning etc I know cooking and gave her an example where a few weeks back when my parents were in hospital visiting family realitive I cooked the food ( fyi I had cooked biryani saffaraon rice and all ) so my partner was never going to be burdened as we all contribute always and daily. I did point out that she had a maid and a cook which right now we dont have bcoz it's not a lot of work and we just do it all by ourself ( this is something I felt I could have left out in an afterthought).

Anyways at this point told her I have been speaking a lot i will stop u can ask any questions you want to ?

She said no there is nothing that she wants to ask .

Ok so I asked her if her family had her approval for the arranged marriage and this meeting was with her approval she.said yes her family is very supportive and they completely support her .

I did tell her at this time that this was my first ever arranged marriage meeting and was very nervous I had asked my friends about their experiences also. She was surprised and did tell me this not not her first and she has had few before

Finally as we were about to leave I told her see you have a big house mine is not as big as hers and we may have to move to a rented accommodation in future.

Now 24hrs later when I think back here is what I felt . I was very blunt and frank I was told by my uncle also u said nothing wrong but you shot point blank truth.

Thinking now, She did not get to speak yes and she was very measured and did not really ask anything when I asked her to .

It become a monologue yes but I always believed in first meeting it's very difficult to know the person or judge if she is the right person or not so I would just go and say true facts and if the girl is ok than may be in second meeting it's a lot easier to open up as there is nothing hidden from my side as I have laid my cards all open .

Re: Experiences of Meeting would be partners

Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:23 am
by dhruv aggarwal
I recently had my first ever meeting with a girl in a arranged marriage meeting.

I was really nervous I did not know what to expect.I am 32/ male a Dentist by profession, reason I waited for so long was i always felt I was not ready for marriage till I achieved certain professional milestone I had set for myself.

Any ways this meeting was arranged by a family friend and my mom dad and myself with my uncle and aunt went to meet girl and her parents.

Some background here we live in Mumbai.Our house is small ok for Mumbai standards but small for anywhere else, she had a bungalow a huge house in Mumbai.

After the initial formalities both families asked us to go upstairs to a seperate room where we could have our conversation.

She was a year elder than me ( did not really matter to me or my parents ) and was an interior designer by profession.

So we started with simple light questions like our schools I asked her about her job she wanted to pursue freelancing in her field which I appreciated because she felt it was best way for her to establish her name in her profession rather than work with someone , something which I very much relate too.

She likes reading I don't and I told her I have only ever read one book Kite Runner by Khaled Husseni. This went on I has hoping she would initiate more serious questions and I would just follow the flow but I finally asked her what was she looking for in her life Partner?

Her answer was pointed measured i.e Stable , Fun to be with and has a good Family !

Now it's my turn she did not ask me but I felt it's implied that since she answered it's my turn.

Any ways I was nervous but I had thought of what I wanted in my life partner I had the answer

So here it goes I told her

“ I have friends who are married for 7–8 years some for 5 some for 2–3 yrs . One thing I have noticed is it's always all sweet and rosy in the beginning but in the longer run all that matters is communication . I am looking for a person I can come home and talk to about my day she tells me about her day I would really value her opinion and I would also appreciate if she stands up to me and tells me bluntly if I am wrong like listen asshole u are wrong better correct yourself or u are in trouble ( can't believe I actually said asshole there but i said it ).

I further went on to say whenever we are passionate about anything there is going to be fights but it's best it's vented out I would encourage my partner to do so rather than keep to herself.

She nodded and listened .She did say that she has friends whose spouses behave as though they are still bachelor's and she did not like it .

This is where I said fortunately I have the liberty choosing my times in my profession and my mother has made it clear that dinner is one meal we would always have as a family together so I understand and value the importance of family time and work life balance.

At this point I also told her I am looking for a life partner who also works and is financially independent and contributor in family .

I reasoned it out saying dental practice has ups and down I told her the clinic does generate six figure revenues but there are slow months particularly during festivals, it does even out in the longer run through and in today's time both partners having positive financial contribution is very important to have a good lifestyle and achieve major life goals.

She nodded did not really respond or say anything.

Now this is when the conversation moved towards parents see she was not really asking only listening nodding or commenting in between.

I brought this up myself.

I told her I am my parents only child just as she is and I expect my partner to understand just as her parents are my responsibility after marriage my parents are equally her responsibility as well.

I further told her we are a close knit family I don't have siblings my family is open and quite liberal in all aspects,we all contribute to house work dishes cleaning etc I know cooking and gave her an example where a few weeks back when my parents were in hospital visiting family realitive I cooked the food ( fyi I had cooked biryani saffaraon rice and all ) so my partner was never going to be burdened as we all contribute always and daily. I did point out that she had a maid and a cook which right now we dont have bcoz it's not a lot of work and we just do it all by ourself ( this is something I felt I could have left out in an afterthought).

Anyways at this point told her I have been speaking a lot i will stop u can ask any questions you want to ?

She said no there is nothing that she wants to ask .

Ok so I asked her if her family had her approval for the arranged marriage and this meeting was with her approval she.said yes her family is very supportive and they completely support her .

I did tell her at this time that this was my first ever arranged marriage meeting and was very nervous I had asked my friends about their experiences also. She was surprised and did tell me this not not her first and she has had few before

Finally as we were about to leave I told her see you have a big house mine is not as big as hers and we may have to move to a rented accommodation in future.

Now 24hrs later when I think back here is what I felt . I was very blunt and frank I was told by my uncle also u said nothing wrong but you shot point blank truth.

Thinking now, She did not get to speak yes and she was very measured and did not really ask anything when I asked her to .

It become a monologue yes but I always believed in first meeting it's very difficult to know the person or judge if she is the right person or not so I would just go and say true facts and if the girl is ok than may be in second meeting it's a lot easier to open up as there is nothing hidden from my side as I have laid my cards all open .

Re: Experiences of Meeting would be partners

Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:26 am
by prabhat aggarwal
I liked a woman’s profile on a matrimonial website. After initial conversation on phone, we met at a coffee shop. Generally I was looking for a decent height (not very short), career oriented woman in general. She was fair, pretty and was working with some company as an event organizer. I was working for an MNC with a decent pay. On our initial talks, she said that she was looking for a man who is tall, doesn’t smoke and has a small family, well-educated. I fulfilled her criteria. She said that she is not back of money as she believes more in compatibility and understanding between the couple. This was my initial meeting with a girl in arrange marriage but it was her 5/6th meeting.

After that meeting we were in touch through watts app but very rarely. Later we went for lunch after a week. She also said that she boozes occasionally with her friends. I left boozing 2 years back. I thought whether I should go further with this match but I liked her a lot as she was ambitious (as she said that she wanted to pursue her PhD after marriage to which I was totally fine), bold and confident about herself. She always used to give mixed signals. Neither yes nor no. Next day I asked her opinion about me, she abruptly said that she doesn’t have any feelings on me and only wanted to marry as certain things should happen at certain age. I should have dropped my feelings about her then and there but I was totally mad about her. Not love but was attracted to her.

After this we were chatting on phone and had few calls but very rarely. I was the person to initiate the chat every time. She used talk positively about this relation most of the time. Also said that her previous matches were cancelled due to horoscope mismatch and few misunderstandings. She was very particular about astrology, which she didn’t mentioned earlier during our meetings. She was little short tempered as she doesn’t like anyone pin pointing her about anything.

Though I didn’t believe in astrology, I consulted one astrologer. Though several points were matching between us, he said not to proceed with the match as her horoscope has many family issues and our relation will be stressful. I said the same thing to her. She said that she will consult her family astrologer but she kept on delaying this for 3 weeks for the reason best known to her. Many of my friends suggested not to proceed with this match as her behavior and the way she used to take things and make opinions was not proper. But I was very positive about the relationship with her.

At last after much delay, she consulted her astrologer. He said that there was minimal match between us and we can proceed further but our names doesn’t match as per numerology. She informed me the same the next day when I called her and she spoke positively about this relationship. I was very happy as she was fine with this match and requested for little time to inform to her parents. She didn’t tell about me to her parents all this days as she kept on assuring me that it’s her decision will be the final. Everything was going well but after two days she said that she can’t proceed with the match as our names don’t match as per numerology. Though astrology matches, she can’t proceed as numerology doesn’t match. I was heart broken. She said NO when I was high on my emotions and feelings. I tried to convince her thrice that compatibility matters rather than the astrology. She kept denying that she doesn’t want any negativity in future due to numerology mismatch. She said that she will proceed further only if I change my name. I lost my self-respect in trying to convince her as I was literally mad about her. I can change my name but I can’t change her stupid belief that changing names will make our life smooth.

Later after few days I realized that she was just passing her time with me. During our conversations she used to hint me indirectly to look for other matches. I thought that she used to say this things due to her belief in astrology but I was wrong. At first place, she didn’t inform her parents about me, she didn't go to her astrologer and later lied to me that numerology doesn't match. I would not have felt that bad if she would have stated the genuine reason for rejection. Instead she rejected me due to false numerology report. I don’t know whether she kept me on hold during this period or was just passing time but she played very smart which I realized very lately.

I was totally depressed and heartbroken. After two months of few meetings and talks I finally decided to let her go from my heart and mind.

My first arrange marriage meeting gave me lot of good and bad experiences.